from Hannis Pannis

Pannis

Pannis was born on an island. His birth name is unpronounceable by most.  He grew up listening to Swedish dance/Pop and talk radio.  When Pannis was 23 he was visited by the ghost of Hank, which turned his life around. Sega Genesis Makes my thumbs long and callous, while the other fingers remain underdeveloped.  It doesn’t help.  I watched Michael J. Fox rock out in Back to the Future, jealous. Elivince, This has gone on for too long.  I bought a wig like yours.  Mention you anytime I meet anyone to make them laugh and find me more interesting.  I went to your MySpace page.  Found out about Shelvis.  Your motto, “LIFE’S A GARDEN...DIG IT!!!!”  I imagine you’re tired of playing Elvis songs, so I play my sad songs as you. Wet Pillows Couldn’t sing Wet Pillows without crying for the first 3 months.  Trying to hit the high note is like eating horseradish. All Veg Hannis wanted to know if the finger food is all veg.  Of course it is, it’s an art school.  Everybody walked past Hannis Pannis in front of the yellow sectional couch cushions.  Pannis serenades “I Will Survive” to the caterers – they freaked out as Pannis sang his heart out and wore his knees out.  Kathryn Hixson followed Hannis Pannis around as they serenaded their friends, and they ended up playing in front of the masturbation video. It rained that night, Hannis Pannis can’t compete with the craziness.  Now they are about halfway between Queen and Donovan.  Nobody took them seriously. First manager got sick from pot and brain burritos. Jason: “I knew Sonic Dildo; Sonic Dildo was a friend of mine.  Hannis Pannis, you’re no Sonic Dildo.” Gallery Uno Interior painting in the backroom is what attracts them.  Crowd walks right by my work. Pannis plays with me on uke in the egg tempera living room large enough to give illusions of being in it.  Gonna make you sweat.  Shimmy shimmy ya.  Elderly belly dancer works it to Blow Danny.  Leaves business cards.  She does everything from fun French to modeling.  The message she wrote on the back either Beef Power Hawaii or Keep Power Hawaii.  She calls a week later to see if we want to accompany her at the zoo for a video shoot.  I don’t know why I didn’t go.  Pannis sees her at the movies.  Ducks out. Sixth Manager “Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to get fingerfucked by Hannis Pannis.” Jay Son: “After I left I couldn’t get Boyz II Men out of my head.” Hall and Oates Them for Halloween.  Pannis, John.  Wandadrug, Oates. Hannis, Mr. Casual. Practice “I Can’t Go For That” body movements and hand gestures at karaoke. Enlist anyone who doesn’t know what to be as roadies, managers, security, drivers, groupies, hangerons, dealers. Movie Travel down to Bloomington, IN to see Dad.  We’ll play him I’ll Sleep with your Shirt Tonight in person as a part of our film.  We were gonna be on a bus like Midnight Cowboy.  ’Cept dad finds a venue, Cinemat.  They give us three hours to fill on November 8th.  Others must go too.  Hoping to bring tap dancers, German Expressionists, and one guitar hero packed in a ragtag of vehicles.  Pile in Dad’s floor? Keep lookin’ at Lake Monroe on the front of last week’s travel section. Hannis, How can I tell you this, we have to postpone the Indiana gig.  The gallery sent me an email back in July to tell me they wanted to move my opening to November 8th, but I forgot to put it on my calendar.  And now I’m trying to fit too much onto my schedule.  I ate halfway through a pork roast, now I don’t know whether to stop or keep eating.  Sorry Hannis, I fucked up. Hourly smoke break is now turning bi-hourly.  I can’t sleep.  This was supposed to be our year.  Phone calls were not returned because I was too busy cakin’, Sorry Hannis, I fucked up. Don’t think I don’t care about you.  I love playing with you.  I loved all of your advice (Better than Pyong’s).  Maybe later I’ll figure out how to juggle my life around, then I’ll get better at it.  But for now, I fucked up, and I’m sorry. See you at karaoke. Edmund: “I want I want I want but I never get.  It.”

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