Two Poems

Poem Formula

1.   Start with an audacious first line, usually a strong opinion. Example: “No one likes you and you know it” 2.   Proceed to expound upon that statement, building a case through careful       assimilation of increasingly concrete particulars. Example: “You are ignored in the emergency ward”                  “You wear headphones in a crowded nightclub”                  “You received a chewed-on pencil for the Yankee Swap” 3.   All of which lead to a conclusion that--while echoing the strong sentiment of the       opening line--only tangentially relates to the preceding case points. The       interpretive or associative leap between the particulars and the conclusion gives       rise to a more revealing truth seemingly resonating with, but perhaps also eluding,       the author. Example: “You like the way your tears disappear into the bubbles of your bubble bath” 4.   Close with a statement that attempts to circumnavigate the poem’s central logical       fallacy without rendering it pointless. Example: “But also when you stand, the way the bubbles slide reluctantly from the brutal slopes of your body”. Subj: [“Sheep-o-matic 3000”] Fellow WoWers, what better name for a mage that loves polymorphing in Player vs. Player and invokes exploding sheep to crush opponents? It came to me when I was warring in WSG—this mage was polymorphing me over and over again. It was the most aggravating thing in The World. But I couldn’t help smiling. Here was a player with a very handy spell, which effectively turned our WSG into a 10 Alliance vs. 9 Horde by keeping me sheeped 90% of the time. The dude is like a machine I thought, the Sheep-o-matic 3000.... And Ding! The light bulb went on. My wife Wensleydale had left on a four-week backpacking trip. It was the perfect time to create my troll mage “Sheep-o-matic 3000” and advance him to lvl 29 twinkage. Exploding sheep and polymorphing would be my signature moves. And as for those 13-yr old Alliance punks who want nothing more than to kill kill kill in bg’s—well, I just sheeped and sheeped them to see how many I could get to hate me. And it worked. From there, I advanced Sheep-o all the way to the lvl 60 cap. Patiently awaiting The Burning Crusade Expansion Pack Upgrade,                                                                                                  --Slagathor

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