Dear Pelican

Stepping across and into the creek, dear pelican, you find the strangest ways we turn over on our sides and let the windows breathe a little sitting in the middle of a driveway looking up at the stars and kicking at small particles with our feet, we can hear the cars go by on the freeway and imagine them as water moving Dear pelican, unconcerned with forward movement unconcerned with the cars sounding like water and the swing abandoned due to the season of all things beginning again, we move as the light moves, chasing it across the sawdust near the creek and plotting ourselves in the middle taking care is pelicans is water moving and we are unconcerned with the forward falling of cars and swings and light and pelicans We just chase the light chase the creek chase the particles in the driveway moving not backwards moving not like water unconcerned, move like pelicans plotting and taking care, move like the abandoning of swings due to season due to all things beginning again like pelicans *     *      *      *      *      *      * In anticipation of sudden shifts in weather, we pelicans sit up on the roof top with the chimneys and the solar panels, borrowing each other’s sweaters and ignoring the allergies due to the changing of the seasons beneath the solar panels and next to the chimneys, we pelicans climb up between the stacks, searching for unimportant documents concerning books, concerning transportation and we pelicans The days are filled with pinecones and chimneys and seasonal allergies The days are filled with solar panels and unimportant documents and pelicans In the workplace, we tape pictures of lake systems to our hard drives pretending to river raft while we boot up in the morning we hang on our cubicle walls pictures of zebras and a garage sale poster of James Dean we pelicans walk around the block on our lunch break and kick at the leaves so, wishing them still bright and hanging, thinking intently about the changing of the seasons and the allergies, thinking about the chimneys and the solar panels and the endless search for unimportant documents Wishing the pinecones and lake systems and hard drives wishing them still bright and hanging wishing them bright and still hanging wishing for pelicans and solar panels unchanged by the changing of the seasons, bright and hanging *     *      *      *      *      *      * we of the alarm clock we of the breakfast cereals we the cassette tape we the automatic juicer we of the frenzied morning we of the sack lunch we of the pelicans We brush our hair over our eyes and peer beneath feeling frustrated and unsure, we brush our hair like pelicans like preening, walking a little to the left but looking to the right and walking to the right while looking a little to the left We are wavering in our decided paths, we of the marching forward we are wavering in the way we place one foot in front of the other, in our preferred modes of travel, pelicans Our wavering is lackluster is running with our shoelaces laced together is pelicans preening *     *      *      *      *      *      * Oh we pelicans and our frenzied movements Oh the trees dripping with blossoms like bowls We pelicans tear ourselves away from the accident, point our eyes straight at the sky and yawn, pelicans do not speak but push the hair away from the forehead, pull the hair back and towards the sky This is communicating As in communication, we pelicans eat apples picked from backyards next to the freeway with the grass and the smog and the urban apples blackened from the fumes of the cars and the air, picking books from our shelves like apples, communicating like pelicans gathering books and preening, tearing ourselves away from accidents and yawning at the urban apples and the freeway and the sky jamming pelican fists deep into our pockets, we communicate by pursing our lips into tight pelican frowns We pelicans are trying to find happiness in unmade beds and spilling trash cans we pelicans are trying to find happiness in the urban apples and the view from freeways we pelicans are trying to find happiness in books picked from shelves and in pushing the hair away from the forehead and in communication and in the sky *     *      *      *      *      *      * We pelicans are driving several hours to say goodbye to loved ones we are driving several hours to help pelicans say goodbye to loved ones We pelicans are walking away from pictures in albums and postcards and warm beds pelicans are diving and we are diving like pelicans deeply into nighttime, saying goodbye to pictures of animals and safety and to loved ones We pelicans are losing loved ones and helping pelicans drive several hours to say goodbye, we are like pelicans, walking towards a dark hill in nighttime and carrying with us small loaves of bread We pelicans are holding hands, pelican-like, and losing loved ones we bury our heads in each other’s soft necks, and like pelicans softly say goodbye It is time for saying goodbye to loved ones and to warm beds and to safety It is time for saying goodbye to pelicans and to pelicans losing loved ones It is time for driving several hours in the dark thinking about pelicans and dark hills and loved ones, it is the time for leaving picture albums and for goodbyes to loved ones and for diving deeply into the unseen like pelicans making postcards and polaroids of sand and dark hills and nighttime

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