ballad of ballyhoo

ye spalpeens of the Press ye know
what ye are worth tu-whit tu-ho
if not there’s such as surely do
for what’s the price of ballyhoo?

          lay into ’em gaily
          wid yer shillelagh

o Press oppress me not with crimes
oh press me not to buy The Times
I’ve seen it on the avenue
bought out for love of ballyhoo!

          thrash ’em and gash ’em
          like ut wuz in fashion

the labour of the workingman
goes all for naught he is a fan
that’s winnowed by the chaff and through
the juggernaut of ballyhoo

          hurly-burl and Rum-Tum-Tugger
          let’s campaign to smite the bugger