Sarah Kobrinsky

Two Poems
Joke’s On You

Steals the pie cooling in your window,

Toilet papers your house
             and the trees in your front yard,

Eggs your car, short sheets your bed,

Tapes kick me to your back,
             then snaps your bra strap,

Puts your hands in warm water
             and makes you pee in your sleep,

Plastic wraps your toilet seat,
             ties your shoelaces together,

Loosens the lid of your salt n’ pepper shaker,

Absconds with your clothes
             when you skinny dip in the lake—

Love rings your doorbell and runs away.


Into a large bowl empty the contents

Of your broken heart, lightly stir in

The sheet from the bed where you last

Made love (shake well beforehand

To let the dust and dead skin rise

To the surface). Gently set aside to use

Later. . .fill your bathtub with tea leaves

And old tears, soak your broken body

Until you feel completely clean.

Spray your house with your favorite scent,

Whatever that may be 

Jean Paul Gaultier or Guilty pour Femme.

Pad around each room making pouty faces

Into mirrors, imagining all the while

That you are the most beautiful woman

In the world. Continue to groom

As you wait for the bell to ring.

Open the door on the man of your dreams.

Make love until well done,

Roughly forty-five minutes on each side.

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